Clare’s Birth Story

Full Name: MaryClare Bernadette Kissinger 

Name Meaning: Clare is named after Brian’s younger sister Anne Clare who only lived for about 30 days when Brian was 3 years old – yet she has made a huge impact on the entire Kissinger family as an intercessor in Heaven.  St. Clare of Assisi is her patron saint.  Last November, we prayed for this baby during our pilgrimage to Assisi – we did not know at that time that she had already been conceived. 

Mary – after Our Lady and Courtney’s mom René Mary.  Clare was born on the Feast of Our Lady of the Snows / the Dedication of the Basilica of Saint Mary Major.  We visited Saint Mary Major (once called Saint Mary of the Crib) in Rome last November and prayed for a baby at the relics of Christ’s Crib which the Basilica enshrines.  We did not know that Clare had already been conceived at this time nor that she would be born on this Feast Day.  It was a beautiful sign of Mary’s protection to receive following her birth!

Bernadette – after St. Bernadette. When Clare was 25 weeks in utero – Ellie and Courtney took a “girls’ trip” (we didn’t know this baby was a girl!) to France and visitedLourdes.  We bathed in the miraculous waters first shown to St. Bernadette by Our Lady.  We prayed here for the health of this baby.

Birthday: Monday, August 5, 2019 at 7:34 am

Stats: 7 lb, 15 oz (3590 g); 21 inches (53 cm)

Place of Birth: Scheibbs, Austria

We learned of Clare's existence the week our family returned from a pilgrimage to Rome and Assisi, which we were once again blessed to go on with the Franciscan University study abroad program (where students study in Gaming, Austria for one semester and travel to various holy sites in Europe during the semester).  Although we were hoping and praying for another baby, we did not think I'd become pregnant so soon as we had just lost a child in miscarriage a few weeks earlier.  Three days after our return from Italy, the Women's Ministry led by the TOR Sisters on campus had a Healing Holy Hour that I attended.  During Eucharistic Adoration, one of the TOR Friars processed around holding Jesus in the Monstrance and we each had a minute or so to pray at the foot of Our Lord.  I felt an overwhelming peace come over me and the thought occurred to me that I may be with child again.  The next morning, which was Thanksgiving Day, I decided to take a pregnancy test.  It was with great joy that I watched the "plus" positive sign appear.  A bit in disbelief, I went and grabbed the digital test I had at home - and was overwhelmed with gratitude as I watched the word "pregnant" appear!  I showed Brian the tests and we prayed with much excitement in thanksgiving for this new life!  I wanted to take a picture of the positive tests next to a Saint figure that would remind me of when we first learned of this little one.  I saw this Saint doll sitting out and thought it was St. Francis - perfect, I thought, it will remind me that we just returned from Assisi.  Later in the day, however, I looked at the picture I had taken and realized the Saint doll was actually St. Joseph.  I decided this was a very good Saint to have watching over my baby - as the foster father of Jesus he had done an excellent job!  So at that time I entrusted this little one to Jesus through the intercession of St. Joseph and continued asking for that protection all throughout my pregnancy.  

November 22, 2018 (Thanksgiving Day)

We knew based on Natural Family Planning tracking that Clare was ‘due’ on August 1, 2019.  However, the doctor set her due date a few days earlier – July 27 – based on an ultrasound taken on January 10 (right after our trip to various holy sites in France, including the apparition sites of St. Joseph and Our Lady).

January 10, 2019

A week after the doctor’s due date – Saturday, August 3 – I felt some contractions begin over night and had difficulty sleeping.  On Sunday, August 4 at 8:30am, I had a check-up at the hospital where they once again performed a non-stress test (monitoring the baby’s heartbeat for 30 minutes) and did an ultrasound to check the amniotic fluid levels and placenta.  Everything looked good.  I was not having any contractions at the time.  To my surprise and great joy, the midwife Beatrice, who had delivered Isaac, was there and came in to say hello to us.  She asked if I wanted her to check my cervix for dilation – up until now I had not had any checks – but trusting her (and being a bit curious) I said yes.  She checked and I was only 1 cm dilated – she said she thought it would be a few more days until the baby came.  Brian and I left and met my mom and the kids at Mass at the Kartause.

Evening of Saturday, August 3

I tried to take a nap that afternoon but couldn’t get very much sleep as I felt some of the contractions return.  Brian had taken the kids out for the afternoon to the FunCourt and Beer Well 😊  After resting for a couple of hours, I decided to go for a walk around 4pm.  Up until this point I had loved my walking time – walking through the town of Gaming, past the pond by the Beer Well, and then through the hills and fields back to our home – while listening to some of my favorite birthing podcasts.  However, this day, I literally had to drag myself on the walk and stop a few times because I could really feel the contractions. When I got home, I noticed I had lost a substantial part of the blood-tinged mucous plug and after a dinner a short time later, I lost the rest.  Brian put the kids to bed and my mom cleaned up after dinner, she then went ‘home’ to the townhouse next door to us where she is staying for her 6 weeks here!  When Brian came back downstairs after getting the kids to bed, I told him I was pretty sure my labor had started – despite what Beatrice had thought about it being a few more days since I was only 1 cm that morning.  We watched an episode of This is Us while I sat on the exercise ball.  I was feeling uncomfortable from the spaced-out contractions and really tired because I hadn’t slept well the night before.  I knew I couldn’t get comfortable lying down – so I told Brian I was going to try to take a bath and rest in the tub.  So very much like I did during Isaac’s labor – only starting a few hours earlier – I got in our tub around 9pm, put on the Praise & Worship Spotify playlist Brian had made me, and stayed in the tub (refilling it with fresh, hot water every so often) for the next 5.5 hours.  Although I couldn’t get much rest, I found it very comfortable in there.  When a contraction started, I filled a cup with warm water and breathed in 1-2-3, and then blew out 1-2-3 while pouring the cup of water out over my belly.  I would do this a few times as I let the contraction ride over me like a wave, as I pictured the baby moving down and me, opening up.  After a while I could tell I was having a contraction once about every song.  In between these contractions, I tried to decide what I wanted to do – did I want to stay here as long as possible as I did with Isaac’s labor and plan to have an uncomfortable ride of the hospital and get there in time (hopefully) to push OR did I want to go earlier and experience what it’s like to really labor in the hospital and ensure I wouldn’t be so close to delivering as traveled there?  I decided around 2am I’d like to go there ‘early’ (compared to last time).  So I checked the consistency of my contractions on an app on my phone and confirmed they were about 5 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute, and I knew this had been going on for at least one hour – so I was 5-1-1 and knew that often meant you were in active labor and would be admitted when you arrived at the hospital.  I called Brian on my phone (he had stayed awake but was in another part of the house) and told him I’d like him to call my mom and have her come over, put our bag in the car, and that we’d leave around 3am.  So that’s what happened!

My contractions spaced out to 10 minutes apart in the car – and it’s only a 20-minute drive to the hospital – so I only had 1 contraction in the car and then one when we arrived in the parking lot.  I rode very comfortably in the passenger seat (with a towel under me just in case my water broke).  We arrived in the parking lot at 3:27am.  After the contraction passed, we checked in at the front desk.  We went up to the labor and delivery rooms (there are three).  I was the only one there.  The midwife on duty (we decided not to hire a private one this time) did not speak English, so she and Brian conversed (his German is much better than mine).  She had me to go the room where I had delivered Isaac (the room next to the one I had been in less than 24 hours earlier for my check up).  We listened to the baby’s heartbeat for 30 minutes and then she checked my cervix.  I was 5 cm dilated.  The midwife told Brian to go down to the front desk and tell them I’d be staying to have the baby.  It was around 4:15am now and she asked me if I wanted to lay down or walk around.  I said I’d walk around, even though I wanted to just sleep – but that wasn’t exactly an option.  She said to come back in an hour and she would check me again – or monitor the baby again or something.  As soon as we left the room I was thinking how am I going to do this?  Walk for an hour?  I was exhausted!  Brian reminded me there is a chapel upstairs (it’s a public hospital but like the public schools – they are Catholic in a sense because it’s the country’s religion – so the chapel is a Catholic chapel with Jesus in the Tabernacle).  We walked up there – stopping a few times as I tried to find a comfortable position standing with my arms around Brian’s neck as the contractions came.  It wasn’t nearly as comfortable as the bathtub had been.  We went into the chapel and had time to pray, literally on our knees (and in my case, my hands as well) in front of Jesus and a statue of Our Lady.  

Although we were totally alone (we had not encountered anyone else at the hospital besides the one midwife – which I really liked) I felt awkward about the possibility of my water breaking in the chapel so I told Brian I wanted to leave.  Even though it had not been an hour, I said I wanted to go back to the room to sit on the exercise/birthing ball.  (It was the same one I had sat on with Isaac!)  After a few minutes, I asked Brian to ask the midwife if I could go in the birthing tub.  I was a bit nervous she might say no, as I knew one of my friends was denied going in for some reason.  But thankfully, she told Brian yes – and immediately began to fill the tub with water.  It was in a little room right next to the room I was in.  It took about 20 minutes to fill.  I was so happy getting in!  We turned the lights off, there was a small light in there (or you had the option to have these overhead changing lights on – I said no to that right away).  It was pretty warm in the room after being in there a while.  I got in the tub around 5:30am and was pretty much able to get back to my labor zone that I enjoyed being in the bathtub at home.  Brian sat very quietly next to the tub, which I appreciated.  We had the Praise & Worship music playing.  Around 6:30am I remember my vocalizing becoming loud and more ‘animal groan-like’.  Right before that I remember thinking I had very little time to rest between contractions – so that must have been transition (dilating fully to 10cm).  Soon after that I had more time between contractions and a deeper pressure in my bum – along with the loud noises.  Two midwives came in at this time.  They were different than the one who had been there overnight (she had only checked on us one other time and had commented that the room was warm – but didn’t check me or the baby – so all appeared well).  The two midwives who appeared now were very nice – one of them was a new midwife (possibly a student midwife?) who I had met at my hospital check ups in the week or so leading up to this moment.  I really liked her!  And, as with most young people, her English was very good.  I was so happy God had provided me with an English-speaking midwife!

The lead midwife (who was also very nice) checked me after she asked if I was at the pushing stage, to which I answered, ‘I think so.’  She checked and indeed I was complete at 10cm.  She asked if I wanted to get out of the tub or stay in. I chose to stay – I was excited to try to have a water birth.  She got the intermittent monitor, which I was pleased to see worked just the same in the tub (I put my belly band around my waist and then two round monitors are placed on my belly).  She told me I could start pushing.  I didn’t know exactly how to do this.  But I was hoping my (very tired) body would know what to do.  She and the other midwife left the room for a few minutes.  They came back in and suggested I reposition my feet on two blocks toward the base on the tub.  I was in the semi-reclined (laid back) position during all of this.  I had seen one birthing video where the baby just kind of popped out between the mother’s legs.  This did not happen for me.  I was sweating a lot and Brian was able to help wipe the sweat from my forehead every few minutes, which felt very good.  My water must have broken sometime while I was pushing in the tub, but I never felt the burst.  The on-call doctor then entered the room.  Another familiar face!  She had grown up with some of the former Kartause kids in Gaming, spoke perfect English, was very friendly and had been the last doctor we met with during my regular hospital appointments.  (Plus, she was a woman!)  God couldn’t have sent me a more perfect team to deliver with!  

The two midwives and the doctor watched me push a few times and the doctor commented I really knew my body.  But I did not feel this way.  No one was commenting that they could see the baby’s head and I was very tired.  Brian suggested I might want to pull my body up using the rope above me – this is how I had delivered Isaac, only for him I was in the regular birthing room and using the birthing stool.  At this point I had no strength left to lift my hands up to grab that rope.  The “team” then said I needed to get out because my contractions were losing power.  I agreed – knowing I needed gravity to help me. I gave one more push as a contraction came while I was kneeling getting out of the tub – that felt better – but now it was time to move.  They quickly got me back in the room next door, onto the bed – where I knelt at the foot of the bed placing my arms on a raised, padded frame.  As they got me on the bed they covered me with sheets and towels to dry me up.  They helped pull off my wet sports bra I had been wearing in the tub.  They took off the wet belly band and replaced it with a dry one and put the two monitors back in place.  Pushing while kneeling on the bed was much more effective – the pressure in my bum was right there as I felt the baby.  After a few pushes, the baby’s head crowned.  The doctor or midwife said they could see her head – Brian moved down to where he could see for himself – and somewhat to his surprise he said, “They’re telling the truth – you can see her head.”  I remember thinking of course you can!!  I also remember being happy the baby was crowning – I didn’t really mind the stinging sensation – although I remember saying “ow, it’s hurts” as I hear Ellie say somewhat frequently as she scrapes a knee or something.  And much like I say to her when that happens, the doctor said – I know it does, it won’t be much longer or something to that effect.

Then her head was born – a wonderful feeling!  I expected her body to come out with the next push.  But it didn’t.  The team said they needed to get me on my back on the bed.  (I had recently listened to a podcast where a similar situation had occurred – the head had come out, actually while the mother was in the tub, and then they needed her to get out of the tub so they could help deliver the rest of the baby).  They asked if I could lay back and I just said ‘move me’.  At this point a second doctor (a male) had entered the room.  The team moved me on to my back.  With what felt like constant pushing from me and continual pulling from them (Brian said it looked like the female doctor was going to pull the baby’s head off and that the male doctor was pushing down on my stomach – I had my eyes closed during all of this) the baby was born!  It was 7:34am. The ending all seemed quite traumatic and exhausting to me – not horribly painful, there was definitely a lot of pressure but none of that registered in my brain as pain – in fact it was delightful, knowing they were getting the baby out!  It must be the power of natural hormone oxytocin to feel this way! 

Brian said the midwives and doctors were totally calm and didn’t seem alarmed at all.  The female doctor immediately said, “the baby is okay! – you want to find out what it is, right?”  I opened my eyes – she was holding the baby in front of me. I moved the umbilical cord away and said, ‘It’s a girl!’  The doctor put my baby girl’s white vernix-covered body directly on my chest.  It was such a wonderful, joyful moment to know I had another healthy baby girl – and that Ellie had a sister!  They let the cord finish pulsing and then asked Brian to cut it.

My next thought was that I wanted water and sleep.  But it wasn’t time for that.  One midwife tried to get the baby to latch right away, while the other midwife and doctor were trying to deliver the placenta.  It didn’t come right away as it had with Isaac (with him I was still near the birthing stool, so I really think gravity had helped then).  I was very pale apparently and my blood pressure reading was low (I was super dehydrated and exhausted).  They said they were going to put a hep-lock in my arm in case I needed medication.  So the baby was propped up in my right arm as they got her nursing, my left arm was getting the hep-lock, my legs were up as they worked at delivering the placenta.  They decided they would insert a catheter and drain my bladder to see if that gave more room for it to be delivered.  It would be about 30 minutes before the female doctor was actually able to deliver it.  I never ended up getting any medication (so was a bit annoyed I know had to keep the hep-lock in for a few hours).  The two midwives checked me for tears.  They thought they saw a tiny one so called the doctor back.  She arrived 3 minutes later and examined me again and said it was nothing to worry about and that I did not need stitches.  I was happy about that – this was my first time not needing even a single stitch.

The midwife asked if I wanted to shower now, but I was way too tired.  I did not have any of the energy or excitement that I had following Isaac’s birth.  This was disappointing to me.  I just wanted more water and rest.  They brought me breakfast – some bread that Brian put jam on – I gobbled that up.  Then the midwife took Clare’s measurements and got her dressed.  Then she helped me put on a gown and move to a wheelchair so they could take me to my room.  I had really wanted a private family room so that Brian could stay with me.  But she told me there were currently none available and this made me feel disappointed as well.  But more than anything, I was so grateful to have a healthy little girl!

Brian holding Clare in the birthing chair where I had delivered Isaac

When we got my shared room, the other mother was not present.  I was in the bed near the window (versus the door).  I had Brian immediately close the windows and somewhat transparent shades (there is no AC in the hospital, as is the case in most of Austria).  And I fell into a light sleep.  The other woman and her baby came in – but I didn’t speak to them – I was too exhausted.  Around 11:30am I woke up a bit, feeling much better with a bit of sleep!  I got up to see Clare.  What a joy!

I ate lunch, nursed Clare, they took the hep-lock out, I showered, and then Brian left around 2pm to get my mom and the kids.  And during that time they told me my roommate was leaving and that Brian could take her bed!  So we weren’t officially in a private room, but God answered my prayer and I was so happy with the news Brian could stay with me.  I texted him with the good news!

We waited to tell my mom, our kids, and my friends whether we had a boy or girl – so that my mom and the kids could be surprised in person.  So when they entered the room and learned it was a girl they were excited!  We had a few special moments together.  Brian took the kids out to the family waiting area for a bit after they visited with their little sister, so I could have some time with just my mom and Clare.  Then Brian drove them home and later returned to stay with me and Clare.

Isaac kept saying, "Hi Baby!"

Francis, who had correctly guessed her birthdate, said he was happy to have another sister!

Ellie, who had correctly guessed her name to be Clare, was SO happy to have a sister!

Rene Mary, who had correctly guessed Bernadette as part of her name, with the "two girls"

As I was in the room alone with Clare, waiting for Brian to return, I was so happy – I felt the presence of God, Mary and the saints, knowing they had been with us through it all!  It was, indeed, a supernatural birth!  Going to bed that night around 7pm had never felt so good 😊

Resources:
Online class: A Heavenly Welcome - Kingdom Childbirth Class

Music download: Holy Spirit Labor Relaxation Album (is included with the class)

Podcasts:  Birth in God's Presence; The Birth Hour; and Birth, Baby, and Life

Books: Ina May's Guide to Childbirth; Jackie Mize's Supernatual Childbirth (read with the thought that ALL births are supernatural - meaning they involve the presence of God, Who brings forth life - and that we are not in control, only God is and it is in welcoming, trusting, and surrendering to His plans that we can really experience the presence of God in birth!)

You can read about my experience trusting in the Lord with Clare's birth following the miscarriage of Mary Pio here.

You can find our other children's stories here:
Mary Pio,
Isaac Joseph, &
Elliana Therese, Dominic Mary & Brian Francis